slat-shit crazy

sometime during the five movies i watched on a flight from frankfurt to atlanta, ga, or possibly during a three-hour layover in the atlanta airport (walking laps around gate 14a and 17b), or maybe on the two-hour flight back north to toronto — landing 4am berlin-time — i picked up a bug.

i made it through three days at work this week, but come friday, i was feeling pretty lousy. i am a terrible, pouty, boylike person when i’m sick. which is why i endeavour never to get sick. pierre and i were trying to remember the last i so much had to blow my nose, and we think it was two years ago, the last time i flew home from frankfurt.

i was in bed by 9.00 on friday, waking up at 6am on saturday, unable to sleep from a combination of i’m-too-hot-it-hurts-to-swallow-waaah. so it makes total sense that i hopped in the car at 8.30 and drove to ikea in the pouring rain to buy bed slats.

artflats berlinsee, when pierre and i were in berlin, we rented a tiny apartment in kreuzberg for the week. you’re looking at the bedroom, essentially a nook off the kitchen (which was even less of a kitchen than this was a bedroom). but i’m not one to scoff at small bedrooms. in fact, this one kind of reminded me of my own: nook off the kitchen, all bed, with 6″ of shimmying space at the foot of the bed for the sucker who sleeps against the wall (in this case, me; in our regular life, pierre).

but this bedroom didn’t feel as tiny as ours. probably because the bed is so close to the floor, making the ceiling feel higher, and due in part to the wall of windows at the foot of the bed.


when we got home to toronto, i took a good look at our bed, its giant-ness being the cause of so many problems in our little house. not for the first time, i wished pierre and i had never bought the queen-sized box spring and mattress. the double malm bed we shared in our apartment (and that i’d slept on all through university) would’ve worked so much better in our 92 square foot master. but we’d dropped a grand on a new, bigger bed right after our wedding, before we’d ever laid eyes on our house-to-be, so i knew there was no going back to the malm — even if it would mean 8″ at the foot of the bed instead of 6″.

instead, i asked pierre if it would be okay to replace our box spring with a set of bed slats from ikea, thus eliminating 12″ from our bed height, bringing us back down to earth, at least a little bit. you might remember that, in addition to the bed frame, box spring, and mattress, we also jacked our bed up an extra 5″ so we could fit a huge percentage of our clothes in homemade drawers under the bed.

he was on board, and i was awake, even if i did feel like crap, so off i went to buy the slats. i was there and back in less than an hour, and had the mattress and box spring off the bed frame even quicker.

ikea bed slatsof course, the thing was a total fail. our bed frame not being an ikea bed frame, but one we bought at sleep country for $50, there are no head and foot supports for the slats to sit in. and because the slats are chopped in half and not full-width, even that was not ideal. so now i have to return a bunch of bed slats, which i all of a sudden really did not feel up to doing just then.

IMG_2282pierre had the miraculous idea that we just go to home depot and buy some wood planks to span the width of the bed frame, doing away with the box spring and ikea bed slats in one shot. we bought nine 5′ x 1′ boards for less than $2 each and had a substitute box spring less than ten minutes after getting home with the wood (and a concrete chisel, but that’s a story for another day).

IMG_2287so now our bed is regular person height! i’m loving the new vantage point and that you can see the whole window when you walk into the room. it’s so much easier to flop into bed, too; it was a bit of a climb before.

IMG_2284IMG_2285and even though i’d hung everything around the bed — nightstands, sconces, picture ledge — based on the height of the old bed, i don’t think i need (want?) to shift everything down. pierre can now sit up in bed without hitting his head on the picture ledge, and i don’t think it looks weird enough to warrant all the poly fila-ing, sanding, painting, levelling, and drilling that would be required to shift everything 6″. yes? no?

7 thoughts on “slat-shit crazy

  1. Be careful of long term mattress goodness. I slept on DIY wood-slat box spring-less beds from birth until 22 and am convinced the mattress lumpiness was a direct result! Close wood slats and regular rotation should do the trick, though.

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